With a nice, tall glass of shut the hell up

I get it, you know.

I did it too.

There were things I’d always do, things I’d never do.

I always thought the whole “never say never” thing was such a cliche.

Turns out it’s more real than scaly feet in the summer.

I’m talking about those people. You know there’s at least one in your life (more like six, seven, or even 15 thousand, amen), and you know you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Twitter is what got me started on this line of thought.

I know that many people just don’t “get” Twitter, and I didn’t either for a long time, but once I did, I fell in headfirst.

It’s so easy to declare your life away in 140 characters. To make huge, sweeping statements that can, if you’re not careful (and sometimes even if you are), make you appear to be just a little bit of a huge, enormous, whopping, judgmental ass.

I know how easy it is to condemn a mindset, a choice, a practice when you have absolutely no clue of its reality. I’ve done it all my life.

Parenting.
Religion.
Sexuality.
Abortion.
Politics.
Divorce.
Monogamy.
Abuse.
Finances.
Depression.

….do I really need to go on, or have I made the point? All of these things and oh em gee so much more, I’ve had hard and steadfast beliefs on. And all of them I’ve eaten my hat about.

So to repeatedly read (via Twitter or Facebook or your sister’s diary) someone’s ADAMANT statements regarding issues they have not faced, well…

It used to anger me. Now it’s more amusing than anything else.

There are people I follow on Twitter for this very reason. Just to read their spew (and weirdness) and know that one day they’ll no doubt be eating their words, whether it concerns foreskins, gluten, or Tylenol.

So I guess the moral for today is be careful what you condemn, because you’ll be there one day, guaranteed.

Followed and friended

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I like to witness the reality of others.

This isn’t a secret.

Misfortune, embarrassment, confusion.

It’s a terrible thing to admit, and I’m sure one day karma will bite me in the ass for it, but there you go.

It’s one of the reasons I like Twitter so much (you should totally Twitter, it’s amazing and wonderful. @emilysteen), because OH MY GOD, people will say anything when it’s just a sentence or two.

Facebook is pretty much the same way. I try and keep my friends kind of pruned and personal, but sometimes I just cannot resist clicking the “accept” button when I get a friend request from someone who I suspect is prone to overshare or routinely embarrass themselves.

Like the chick from high school who put up a picture from an afternoon in the pool, and while the pic (see what I did there? Pic. That’s young folk interwebs talk) was obviously supposed to be of her kid, most of the frame was taken up by her stretched-out-in-front-of-her swimsuit bare legs. The picture was awkward. To be nice.

Or the one girl who talks about every bodily function she has, and posts pictures of herself on the regular, detailing her (horribly delightful) outfit choice.

Sweet Lady Propane, the things people release into the information superhighway.

I know I should focus my attention on wholesome, helpful things.

Recipes, knitting patterns, Bible verses.

But then a friend request comes through from that one guy who used to spend every high school party in the dryer.

Accept. Follow.

Forgive me.