Because I’m not a Christmas Card sender

I’ve tried before, a couple of years I even got the cards out in time.

I felt very accomplished those years. But it’s been a long time.

So in light of the fact that I’m not organized or competent enough to send out individual paper cards, here:

Also, in the tradition of those lovely people who do a family update letter every year at Christmas, I will do this.


The year started out like they all tend to do.

Resolutions were pretty much abandoned by week 2.

I turned 31.

The institution of marriage was defined by people in all different ways.

Ava lost her first tooth. Max lost several of his.

Lucy turned one.

Josh and I decided to go back to school, and we had our 5 year anniversary.

Josh was in many plays. I was in none.

Max and Ava and Dan were also in plays.

I started going to a for real shrink.

My sister got married.

Osama Bin Laden was killed.

Occupy Wall Street began.

Josh said goodbye to his grandfather.

I registered my domain name and began to blog with fervor.

Josh and I finished our first semester of school online.

And oddly enough, that seems to be all of note I can really remember.

I am giving myself this week of mostly leisure, so you may not hear from me for a while.

I love you.

Untitled because I can

This week is drawing to a close and oh my GOD can you believe it’s December? That is just crazy. Really, insane.
I mean December is for Christmas and holidays and Hanukah and Kwanzaa.

Max asked me one year if we could celebrate Kwanzaa. However I wasn’t really sure what all that entailed so I told him we could have a menorah and that seemed to appease him.

I generally despise Christmas.

I love giving gifts, it’s one of my favorite things in the world. I just don’t like giving gifts on a strained budget. I want to buy everyone the iPads and iPhones and xboxes they want and I want to watch their faces light up because they got a kickass present from someone who loves them. Me.

I just can’t do that yet. Maybe one day.

Oh, and there’s some exciting happenings with school stuff, maybe I’ll be able to fill you in soon. Yeee!

I am out of sorts with the weather. I love the cooler, but it’s moving a little too quickly into bitter ass cold. And that’s not cool.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Lucy has a permanent marker.

A Mississippi Girl’s Views on Marriage

Why do I even think I have a right to care about your life?

Your love?

Your commitment?

Marriage is tough. I know, I’ve done it twice.

In the sevenish years since my divorce, I’ve heard my first marriage referred to in a number of different ways.

Starter marriage.
Trial run.
Strike one.
The jump from the nest.

First of all, let me make this clear: my marriage was not well thought out. It was something that sprang from my own codependent need to belong and be needed. I thought it would be a big game of house.

But for all the mistakes that were made, all the hurt and confusion that was had, my marriage was what brought me not only my two oldest children, but it linked me for life to the person who would always remain one of the best friends I could have. There is no price for those things. I would not change it for all the riches.

But it was my decision, my doing. I was free to make my own choices.

Why is that a right that can only be afforded to people with opposing genitals?

Because of the Bible? Whatever my views are on the Bible (and I’m still figuring that out), it’s not something I think people should be forced to believe and follow. Or something I believe it makes sense to mold laws around.

If we’re honest, is it just a matter of what we (generic we, here) as a society are most comfortable with?

Many of us weren’t taught in our growing up times about how to handle relationships that deviate from what we perceive as the norm.

But that’s the thing – WE decide what’s normal.

I want happiness to be normal. I want Tim and Ron, Cameron and Mitchell, Jenny and Tiffany, and whoever else to be free to say, “Hey, I love this person. I don’t love them for their genitals or the color of their skin or the way people accept us or don’t. I love this person because above all, I was created to love. My heart matches this heart. And I am happy.”

Why on Earth is that not okay?

My changing mind and “outgrown” first marriage are the abomination. Not genuine love. That’s rare. That’s precious. That’s a gift.

Love is a beautiful thing. Love belongs to everyone.