It’s been a while since I really said anything about the cogs and wheels in my brain case.
Stuff has changed. How’s that for vague?
Mostly things are better. I have found calm where there was…less than none.
I don’t really know how. That should totally be something I could just spill out, right? It should be a logical progression. Breathing techniques. Colors and crystals, meditation and sex. Positive affirmations.
Maybe it’s all of that. Maybe it’s none of it.
Medicine has been adjusted. That could be part of it. I’m around people more these days.
School is starting back soon, and if I told you how excited I am about that you’d probably think my crazy is just relocating itself.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that things are better. I honestly worked on the way I perceive things and the levels of importance I place on different aspects of life…and I think it has actually worked.
I don’t go to therapy anymore. I was terrible at going to therapy anyway, as evidenced by the fact that my therapist changed jobs and I missed the appointment where she intended
to tell me. I could still go, sure. I could have a new therapist, one who knows about me from notes and files. I could even be okay with that – but things have flipped around so that where there once was too much time, now there is not enough. Also I kind of ran out of things to say.
The remarkable thing is that I know I’m not “fixed”…but I’m okay with that. Glad for it, even. I have grown comfortable with the fact that I will always be a little sadder/more sensitive/weirder than most people, but I’ve decided I like that about myself. It’s okay with me. Besides…isn’t that why I have a blog? Free therapy?