Cracking the shell on 2013

I (gasp) made some resolutions this year. And you know, for the first year (ever) they’re not things like lose weight or write a novel.

Nope. I’ve decided I’m ok with the extra girth I’ve apparently taken to raise. I’m not unhealthy. I’m cutting my losses.
As for writing, I do want to do more. But I’m not creating it as a goal to guilt myself with. It happens when it happens.

My resolutions are more…me. More in line with what will really make me happy and not with what I feel is expected of me.

I resolve to love the ones I call mine. My kids. My family. My husband. To love them without condition and without question.

To give more.
To expect less.

And basically to be happy with being me. With all that entails.

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Obligatory End of Year Post

I know lots of people say this and it’s totally cliche, but where did 2011 go?
 
Seriously, it’s insane that it’s almost 2012. Forgive me if I wax nostalgic for the next couple of days.
 
Shouldn’t we all be jetting around in hovercars and jetpacks by now? That’s what the Weekly Reader told me in 1988. 
 
When I was 8, the year 2000-anything seemed impossible. I suppose it’s true that everything is relative. I certainly would never have put myself where I am, in thinking about the future.
 
Chalk it up to divine plan or whatever you want, but it’s strange the way things work out…and whether it sounds dorky or not, it’s exciting to see what happens next.
 
As for resolutions? I make them every year. More often than not I lose steam in a couple of weeks, but I always resolve. This year isn’t any different – well, maybe a little.
 
This year I’m not resolving to lose weight or keep the house spotless (sorry, family). I’ve done those or some variation thereof every year since I was 15.
 
But not this year. For 2012 I simply resolve to be diligent about being happy. To do whatever needs to be done in order to make my life good and full. To keep my family happy and whole, to love my life from day to day, and to be able to come back this time next year and say with honesty that I kept my resolutions to the best of my ability and that my life is better for it.
 
I don’t get many comments…but if you’re reading, tell me what you want out of 2012. Really. I’d love to hear.

Because I’m not a Christmas Card sender

I’ve tried before, a couple of years I even got the cards out in time.

I felt very accomplished those years. But it’s been a long time.

So in light of the fact that I’m not organized or competent enough to send out individual paper cards, here:

Also, in the tradition of those lovely people who do a family update letter every year at Christmas, I will do this.

2011.

The year started out like they all tend to do.

Resolutions were pretty much abandoned by week 2.

I turned 31.

The institution of marriage was defined by people in all different ways.

Ava lost her first tooth. Max lost several of his.

Lucy turned one.

Josh and I decided to go back to school, and we had our 5 year anniversary.

Josh was in many plays. I was in none.

Max and Ava and Dan were also in plays.

I started going to a for real shrink.

My sister got married.

Osama Bin Laden was killed.

Occupy Wall Street began.

Josh said goodbye to his grandfather.

I registered my domain name and began to blog with fervor.

Josh and I finished our first semester of school online.

And oddly enough, that seems to be all of note I can really remember.

I am giving myself this week of mostly leisure, so you may not hear from me for a while.

I love you.

Goodbye, 2008.

I’m not sad to see this year go.

Not at all.

I gave 2008 a sporting chance, but I’ll admit – I was ready for it to go by March. This year has not been the best.

I lost a baby. 

I spent a lot of time being disillusioned. By a lot of things. I lost trust in people I should have been able to trust the most. Jobs were lost. Things have spent more time in the air than on the ground.

I’ve done a lot of grasping. It’s been lonely. Embarrassing. Heartbreaking.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I am very blessed. I have a healthy family. My children are phenomenal. I have a good job and I work for amazing people.

With every new blow I’m dealt, I find strength I didn’t know I had. I keep telling myself that one day I’ll look back and know the reasoning behind everything – everything – that has happened. I certainly hope that’s the case.

Tomorrow is a new day, a year unborn. I hope this one is better. I hope I can look back this time next year and say that I was right, that this one was worth waiting for. I hope.

 

Happy New Year.