Helpless

I am going to do my best to not come across as petty and whiny in this post. I realize that I am lucky to have a healthy family with a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I am grateful for this.

Davasurpriseisclaimer over.

For Ava’s birthday on Sunday, we bought her an iPhone. Not a new one, not even the next-new one. But it was perfect for her and it was exactly what she wanted. She was thrilled to be able to look at Facebook and send wi-fi text messages and take pictures.

The surprise was executed flawlessly. She was surprised and thankful.

Then, the next day – Monday – she went to rehearsal at the local community theatre.

Where her phone was stolen.

I found out about this on Tuesday morning, where I proceeded to worry for the entire day. I still haven’t stopped.

I felt powerless. I was – I AM – furious.

How dare they? How dare someone see something that belonged to my daughter – something she had waited for and hinted for and waited for some more – and just TAKE it? Her BIRTHDAY present? Something that had made her so happy?

And I can’t do anything about it. Nothing.

I realize this is a teaching opportunity. A chance to show that the world kind of sucks and things aren’t fair. A chance to enforce that things are JUST THINGS.

But she’s ten. It was a special birthday. There’s nothing wrong with being ten and having something you want, or being happy that you got it.

I was happy that – for once – we had the capacity to give her something we KNEW she would want and enjoy. And that’s okay, too – isn’t it?

Just once I would like to be able to not try to find the bright side. Just to be able to say that my kid is brokenhearted and I can’t fix it and it sucks.

Hence artistic endeavor

Sunday┬áis my anniversary. You’ll hear more about that soon.

Lately I have been listening to a great deal of artsy fartsy feely music.

Basically just Amanda Palmer and my beloved Neil Gaiman, because they did this fantastic “An Evening with Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer” tour and it was…perfection.

Amanda Palmer is lovely and wonderful and has this song about ukuleles.

About how great they are.
How they make people happy.
The wonder and greatness of the music.
Eating cereal in the dark and how you should just play because you can.

As a matter of fact it is here:

Ukulele Anthem. Amanda Palmer is amazing.

I THEN WANTED A UKULELE.

If you know me you know that I have never – aside from youth choir and chamber choir and various other choiry things – been particularly musical. I played clarinet in junior high but never progressed past Smoke on the Water and Proud Mary. I got a guitar in college and I learned a couple of Jewel songs.

I mentioned to my longsuffering husband that I could totally get into playing the ukulele.

He was understandably skeptical, and when I refused to mime the motions of ukuleleing he had a point and I dropped it.

Then he bought me one because he sometimes caters to whims and also why not, it’s a IMAG0177_1great anniversary present.

So now I have something to learn and hopefully not suck at, and I have had it for a grand total of four hours now and I almost can play “Go Tell Aunt Rhody” which…yeah, don’t ask.

You will probably never hear me play this ukulele, but rest assured that somewhere I am perhaps playing it and looking foolish and being so happy.