Being legitimate

Someone had to know I would broach this. It was inevitable.


In an interview aired this past Sunday, Todd Akin, a Republican candidate for Senate in the great state of Missouri, made this statement when asked about his feelings on abortions resulting from rape circumstances.

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors, [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

He really said that. Really and truly.


Now, let me start by saying, as a woman – he has no right to an opinion. Really. I don’t get all up in his scrote and he’s never carried a baby, so we should just agree to keep our politics out of each others’ crotches.

And secondly, as a rape victim – fuck you, Mr. Akin.

Legitimate rape?

What are the other kinds? Illegitimate? Imagined? Maybe she didn’t say no loudly enough? Maybe she was “asking” for it?

I realize that people are falsely accused of rape. I know that happens, and it is a sad thing to know that someone would abuse such a delicate area for whatever reason.

But the majority of rapes (60-68%, according to a quick Googling) go unreported, and do you know why? Because of douchebags like Todd Akin. Because the first thing asked of anyone claiming rape is not, “What can I do?” not “How can I help?” it’s…..”Well, what happened?”

Because its not enough to be taken advantage of. It’s not enough to be violated. It’s not enough to matter so little that you don’t even get a choice in what happens to you.

You have to justify. You have to prove what you’ve claimed. It’s no wonder that women and men in staggering amounts just choose to opt out. Why prolong things and expose yourself to embarrassment…criticism…shame?

It happened to me. And just because it wasn’t a stranger in a dark alley doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean I deserved it. It doesn’t mean I hurt any less. It doesn’t make it any less legitimate.


So while Mr. Akin sits in Missouri with whatever opinions he wants to have about situations he will never face, I will try with all my might to let everyone know that things like this are not okay. It’s not okay to trivialize someone else’s hurt. It’s not okay to make blanket statements when you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

Help a little more, talk a little less. I think that’d do some good for everybody.


In which I vent for a Friday

First of all, have you seen this?

middle school bullies

Now, before you click that link, let me say these things:

This is not the original video. In fact, most of it is just audio since the kids in the original were minors and I’m sure there’s some sort of law.

There is lots of language, which is a lot of the point actually. A bunch of filthy mouth asshole kids who are abusing an old lady whose job is to sit on the bus and prevent bullying. So if the language offends you, not only are you reading the wrong blog…but you probably need to mentally prepare.

The video is ten minutes long. I made it through less than one minute before I was in tears and couldn’t take any more.


If you would rather not watch the video, let me summarize. A 68-year-old woman named Karen (who is a widow and a former bus driver of 20 years) has the unenviable job of riding a school bus in the name of “monitoring” the kids. Basically she’s there to keep situations from escalating and anyone from getting hurt.

In the video, she is shown sitting alone in a seat, looking out the window and trying to maintain composure whilst a crowd of truly vile middle school students call her names (“fatass,” “lard,” and “old bitch” are some of the ones I caught), call her ugly, poke her (to illustrate her “lard’), and basically be as loathsome as possible to her (when she finally speaks up to say maybe they shouldn’t say anything if they don’t have anything nice to say, she is told to “shut the fuck up” and that is about the time I was so emotional I had to turn it off).

I bring this up because this is real. This is what kids are growing up thinking is okay. Say anything as long as everyone seems to think you’re cool. I know that kids were mean when I was growing up – but this mean? I can’t wrap my mind around it.

This could be my grandmother. This woman is no doubt the same age as some of those kids’ own grandmas.

It just makes me sad is all. These kids can’t all have terrible parents. Some of them have to have parents who would think their kids would never do something like this. There were undoubtedly some shocked parents when the original video went viral and sweet little Junior was highlighted on YouTube calling Grandma Karen a fat bitch.

I don’t know what I’m hoping to accomplish with this. Maybe nothing.

Please, everyone…be kind. It’s not hard. Love each other. This is just wrong.