reasons I jump on any superfood, and my latest effort.

I have always, like most people probably, been intrigued by the concept of a superfood.

An elixir. Drink of life that (preferably) wasn’t virgin’s blood. Something that gave me energy and increased cup size while boosting my metabolism and slimming my waist.

I ask for so little, right?

Let’s see, what has it been in the past? All these things that have promised me everything my heart desires?

Green tea. Not bad.
Local honey. It’s just too messy to put into everything, but damn it’s good.
Olive oil.
Canola oil. No joke – it was supposed to lower my set point or something. Not that I remember. Or even know what a set point is. I just know I consistently drank shots of oil for at least a few weeks.
Coconut oil.
Cayenne pepper.
Fish oil.
Chia seeds.
White vinegar.
Cinnamon.
Cloves.
B vitamin complex. I even had some weird kind of sublingual solution.
Prenatal vitamins.

I could go on.

Recently I’ve started keeping a look out for miracle foods and pills again, because I’ve stacked on some significant weight. I thought I was just feeling bloated because I’d been slacking off the running, but during last week’s firepee extravaganza I had to break down and go to the doctor, where I met reality – the cold and ruthless bitch.

Turns out my “bloated” equaled about 25 pounds in less than six months. I was torn between tears and rage when I was on the scale.

Really, I had changed nothing. I have never been one to subsist on leafy greens or say no to a cupcake, but aside from a portion of my life where all I ate was chicken casserole with macaroni and cheese, I have never weighed this much. It’s no wonder all my clothes were/are miserably uncomfortable. Seriously – maternity pants. And my baby is two.

So of course, when I mentioned my weight gain to the nurse practitioner, I expected a lecture about exercise (duh) and eating right (duh). When I mentioned that I was on an antidepressant, though, I got none of that. Word up.

Turns out I’d never bothered to consult Dr. Google about my crazy pills, and they were most likely the weight gain culprits. I’ve since changed meds and have already dropped a few pounds (yeah – just since last week), but my weight dilemma has led me back to the superfood chase.

So now, I present to you my latest harbinger of youth and joy:

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Apple cider vinegar.

It’s a bandwagon I’ve dabbled in before, with not really much result – mainly because the stuff is so vile that stomaching it day after day is terribly daunting.

But I’m doing it. I have no clue what to expect.