Day 30 of 30 day challenge

This is it, people. After this you’ll be back to one post a day. I’m sure you’re relieved.

30- Ways you believe you have grown over the past thirty days.

This has been interesting, that’s for sure.
I’ve realized that I’m a much more cliche mom than I ever would’ve guessed. It’s always been my goal to be unexpected, to not be a cliche. But in realizing how I do fall into that category, I’m surprisingly okay with that. Because in return for the cliche, I get to hang out with three of the coolest little people anyone could ever know. And I’d be a cliche for them any day.

Thanks for hanging out this past month.

Days 28 & 29 of 30 day challenge

day 28- A moment you remember being completely happy in and a description of why you believe you were. what is your definition of happiness?

As odd as it may sound, I’ve had these moments a lot lately.

It should sound odd because there are so many things that are unsure and incomplete. Job uncertainty, financial woes, messy house, stressful…stress.

But I’m surrounded by the people I love most in the world.
I’m married to my best friend, and deep down I know he loves me.
I have three of the coolest kids ever.
One of my greatest friends lives across the hall, and he’s good about sharing his Diet Mountain Dew and his iMac.

Happiness is knowing you’re valued. Knowing you’re needed and loved.

I have that. And I’m happy.

day 29- What you live for.

I live to see what’s next. Infinite possibility and never-ending choices. I live to watch and see what my kids become. To see how far I can go with my dreams.

Every day something is new. If I didn’t live in expectation I’d be constantly disappointed.

Day 27 of 30 day challenge

day 27- Your definition of the meaning of life.

I have no clue what life means or why we live it. I don’t know if I subscribe to the theory that God watches us and waits for us to say and do the right things (which he knows the ultimate outcome and all) or the one where we’re all floating around in a cloud of maybe and wait and see.

I don’t know and I don’t think there is any way to know.

I think the best thing anyone can do is be a good person. Do unto others, you know? Live your life so that people are sorry when you’re gone.

Day 26 of 30 day challenge

day 26- Your definition of love.

I will never be able to properly explain it.

I always thought it was corny, the on and on about a mother’s love. I did. I thought that all that rambling was just misplaced passion from women who had married the wrong man or had missed out on their dream.

I mean, I understood loving your kids…or I thought I did.

But I would die so that their lives would be one ounce better.

I look at Max and I see so much. Such a sensitive, loving little guy who would give anything to feel cool and accepted. So I give anything for him.

I see Ava and I see myself before I was beaten down by reality. I see the confidence and the creativity that somewhere I lost.

I look at Lucy and see the hope and promise of countless days unlived. The blind trust and dependence of someone who knows she is the sun and moon.

I cannot picture anything I’ve done or will do that will ever be good enough.

I burst inside if I think about it too much.

Day 21 of 30 day challenge

day 21- Your favorite medium of art

There are so many different ways this could be interpreted.

It’s not something a lot of people know about me, but I’m absolutely mesmerized by paint.

Delicate watercolors, heavy, stinky oils.

The little ridges where the paint collects along the edges of a brushstroke are my favorite. It’s like a little wave hello from the artist. Every time I see those swishes I catch myself picturing the brush, the touch on the canvas, the hand behind the art.

Paintings done on paper aren’t as good as ones on canvas. Just the facts.

It’s weird I know.

Day 18 of 30 day challenge

day 18- A picture that makes you feel

I don’t know if the last word got cut off or what, but I like this.

Pictures – I’m not overly great at taking them, but they speak. They really do.

For example, this one is saying, “we like to watch movies.”

I don’t have many pictures of all three of the kids together. It makes me feel all lovey and fuzzy to see them like that.

Day 13 of 30 day challenge

I deliberately skipped day 12, because it was about a musical artist’s life story and I thought it was stupid.

So, here goes this:

day 13 – a memory that never fails to make you laugh

Without embarrassing my husband too completely, I will answer this honestly.

Who am I kidding? He married me, he had to expect to be exploited.

Years ago, we lived downtown in a lovely little house. Terrible heating and cooling, and not enough bedrooms, but the location was great, the floors were hardwood, and every time we drive by now we wish we still lived there.

Anyway, one night we didn’t have the kids (there were only two back then, you know, meeeeeemories), Josh broke out a bottle of muscadine wine which I still don’t know why we had. It was made fairly locally and had no alcohol percentage content on the label, so we thought, you know, no way this can end badly.

The wine was like hot nasty liquid shit in a bottle, so I declined more than a sip (and that’s saying a LOT, because I am all about making generous allowances in the name of alcohol). It was late and I was pretty tired, so I soon after went to bed. Josh wanted to watch SlingBlade (because wine and Billy Bob just seems like a natural progression), so he stayed up.

After….I don’t know, an hour? I woke up to strange sounds from the living room…which, in that house, was about 15 feet from where I slept.






I got up and steeled myself for whatever I might find (which, dude, we had a ghost in that house. Anything could have been waiting) and opened the door.

All the lights were off, the movie was still playing, and the bottle of wine sat empty in front of my husband, who sat with the biggest shiteating grin I’ve ever seen.

Just that moment, that instant, in my sleepy fog with my husband talking like Karl and grinning for all he was worth like it was Christmas Day and he’d gotten a box of puppies and cheesecake, that is one of the funniest things my warped, seizure addled mind will ever recall in full detail.