I had, like everyone does, a picture of what I expected from my life at whatever point. This point. Three years from now.

I wouldn’t be upset if, say, I were a millionaire this time next year. That’s not in my plan, but I think I could handle it.

(On a completely separate note, I’m watching the State of the Union and DAMN MY PRESIDENT HAS BALLS. Just saying.)

It’s when things go wrong that I don’t handle things well. 

When there’s less money than I need.

When a little girl looks at me to make it feel better and I can’t.

When I’m presented with a fourth grade math problem and I have no clue ho to begin it.

When the house looks like a cotillion of hobos took it over the night before.

I know I sound like a whiny brat. A pampered little simp. I suppose I am, but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes I am totally at a loss. A loss of drive and fervor, a loss of confidence and security.

I suppose I need to buck up. Have a backbone.

I’m working on it.

Related posts:

1. Forward Ho
2. My first two-part series. Thanks, Netflix
3. For 2011

A few weeks ago when I was eating some meal with that man I married, we were talking about my blog and what it has accomplished and what it hasn’t. 

I have never harbored any illusion that I would be some Dooce-ish success story or that some obscure agent would happen upon my blog and proceed to offer me millions of dollars for what they know will be a NYT bestseller.

I’ve never thought any of that. Although, you know, it would be nice.

I’m happy with the state of things. I never would have imagined, in 2006, that I would still have this blog and that it would mean quite as much to me as it does.

Back to the dinner. 

So Josh and I were eating dinner and he said something to the effect of, “We really need to get you to a conference or something.”

Music to my ears. Have you ever wanted something desperately but you refrained from mentioning it because you didn’t want to be a nag or a bother?

Me, either. But the fact remains that I had never mentioned (in any sort of seriousness) attending a blog conference.

Because what would that mean, really? It would mean airfare, conference passes, hotel rooms, time away. It would mean a family vacation that was pretty much just for me. And I may be a lot of things, but I like to think I’m not that selfish. 

So I have pretty much given up any hope of attending a BlogHer conference (because that’s kind of the caviar of blog conferences) unless it came to Memphis or something. Which may happen, one day. But not this year.

Except yesterday on Twitter, my friend Ashley responded to an off-the-cuff tweet I’d made regarding someone  sugardaddying me to this year’s BlogHer conference. Which is in New York. I die.

Anyway Ashley and I tweetively decided that we should start a “Send Us to BlogHer” campaign. With complete acknowledgement that likely nothing will come of it, we are sending our desire out into the world.

The Secret says that if you speak affirmations, they will come to fruition.

In light of this assertion, I am putting my positives out into the void.

I will attend BlogHer 2012 in New York City, because someone will believe in the awesome I possess. I will learn and grow, and I will make many friends and connections. I will finally have a purpose for those business cards. I will be forever grateful.

Now, Rhonda Byrne, we’re putting this to the test. Let’s let this shit get real.

Tweet your support of our cause using the hashtags #sendus #blogher.

Related posts:

1. My first two-part series. Thanks, Netflix
2. Random Ramble
3. For 2011

So let’s talk about furniture.

I take lots of pictures, and while mostly I don’t care much what anyone thinks about the background of my pictures and a shrink would tell me that focusing on the negative just reflects insecurity, the fact is this:

some things are just butt ass ugly.

This is a fact, and I’m sorry if you love ugly furniture.

A little bit before the new year, someone or another needed to look at a couch and there was nowhere to put the couch but the living room or something along those lines, and then suddenly there was this new puffy couch in the house.

Whoever needed to look at it apparently didn’t want it and wherever it came from didn’t want it back, so we have it still. And I’ll just go ahead and get this out of the way…the thing is hideous. No wonder no one wanted it. I’m talking repulsive, shocking, swollen rancid sashimi disgusting.

I realize there are people who don’t have things to sit on and don’t have houses to sit in. I know this and I am grateful that there is a place to park my ass.

But still. I’m just saying. The thing is ugly.

And while I sit on it and I exist with it in my life, I felt the need to warn others. You too can be overtaken by speckled wooly wood paneled misery. It can happen to you.

No related posts.

See that? We got a new cat, and that’s his hello. His name is Charlie, and he successfully took over our house within about 1.8 seconds of his arrival.

I have wanted a cat for a long time, but there were issues…allergies and space and etc, but sometimes you have to say damn the torpedoes and do something.

My classes also began, and since I’m a real university goer now, things are…different.

I’m so sorry I’ve been so boring lately. It’s like the talky typey part of my brain has gone on vacation.

I do have some pictures, though.

No related posts.

My mother in law bought me a sewing machine for Christmas. 

This was an excellent gift, given my penchant for fancying myself a creator of cool things. 

I left it in the box for at least three or four days after Christmas, because to be honest….I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do or how to do it.

I got over that. I am my father’s daughter, after all, and no machine was getting the better of me. 

So I have pieced together a few squares for a quilt, and perhaps one day I’ll finish it – I would love to be able to sleep without being accused of stealing covers (Steen, I’m looking at you).

Related posts:

1. Forward Ho
2. Dedesensitizing
3. Random Ramble

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2. Wordless Sunday
3. Wordless Sunday

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That’s bad luck, right? I’ve never really had much experience with good or bad luck on Friday the 13th, although I do remember that when I was young my dad signed his final hiring papers for a job on such a day –  a job that would end up being pretty much the worst thing ever.

But I think that was just the result of general universal shittiness, not really bad luck or anything.

I used to hear stories about people who stayed in their houses or beds all day on Friday the 13th. My opinion is that it would be a good excuse. Maybe I’ll use it someday.

The Steens are embarking on a journey this weekend. We’re heading over to Tuscaloosa, since I’ve never been there and as a student at the University of Alabama I feel I should at least know what it looks like. Then we’ll either geocache our hearts out or head down to Jackson, to laugh at everyone we escaped.

I hope everyone’s year is starting out well. Mine is – I think this could qualify as the best beginning of a year I’ve had in recent memory.

Oh and guess what, my therapist reads my blog (hi, Angela!). While initially I thought that might squick me out a bit, I’ve found it really doesn’t make a difference.

I suppose it’s true that misery breeds creativity – because honestly, I haven’t had much to write about lately. I’ve just been too damned happy. That sounds contrived – but I swear it’s true.

I vow to take lots of pictures this weekend. I have a kickass camera on my phone and I need to use it more often.

So, I leave you with this:

We MAY have convinced Max that butter was a delicious treat. It didn’t last long. 

We entertain ourselves the best we know how.

Happy weekend. I’ll be back in full rambley force next week. 

Related posts:

1. For 2011
2. Forward Ho
3. My first two-part series. Thanks, Netflix

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1. Recap

When I initially watched this movie last year sometime, that title was stupid and made no sense. Eventually it got explained in the movie but I can’t help but think the film would have maybe escaped obscurity if it had a different title.

Consultation services available upon request.

So the movie is about a photographer in NYC who becomes acquainted with a young painting prodigy named Abby, and through her he “meets” her family on Facebook.

Nev, the NYC photographer, who is totally adorable and down to earth, is drawn to the family because they are hip and with it and very…cool, for lack of a better term. He chats with all of them and gets into a pseudo relationship with Abby’s big sister, Meg. Texts and google chats are flying like monkey feces.

SPOILER ALERT:

Abby’s whole family is pretty much complete bullshit, all fabricated by her mom Angela. While Abby does exist, she doesn’t paint. Everyone else is pretty much fictional and the people who are real are not accurately portrayed at all.

This is interesting to me because I’m pretty sure a girl I went to college with is doing the same thing. She has made this entire life for herself, away from everyone who knew her in reality. She has, according to her photos – lost nigh unto 100 pounds and gained not only fashion sense but a completely new bone structure.

The thing is, THIS IS AN ASSTON OF WORK. Profiles. Pictures. Stories to go with the profiles and pictures. The movie chick even had phones for different characters and all sorts of crap.

My thought is…you know, write a book. Put that effort to some use. Creating new lives on Facebook is not exactly lucrative.

Vince Pierce: They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They’d keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them and the catfish will keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. And they keep you on your toes. They keep you guessing, they keep you thinking, they keep you fresh. And I thank god for the catfish because we would be droll, boring and dull if we didn’t have somebody nipping at our fin. — IMDb Quotes: Catfish (2010 Documentary)

This concludes my series on movies that are interesting.

Related posts:

1. My first two-part series. Thanks, Netflix
2. Forward Ho
3. For 2011