Things I would have known if I had had a brother

Growing up, I always hated being the youngest. I was very put upon and woebegone and no one understood me. My mother had been the oldest. My dad had been an only child. So I was forced to live the life of a young Mississippi girl who NO ONE UNDERSTOOD (as if anyone could have understood me otherwise).

Above anything else, I always used to want a brother. A big brother. Sometimes I would pretend Stephanie was my big brother because she was so tall, but then she’d do something stupid like be a cheerleader or wear a bra and the illusion was shattered.

I realize now that part of my fascination with the opposite sex (read: boy craziness) stemmed from not really knowing much about boys, having never been around them all that much. I mean, I was around them at church – but let’s face it, church boys are somehow not as alluring.

Therefore, I present you with things I probably would have known ahead of getting married, had I but had a brother:

Boys are gross. Farts and balls and dingleberries gross.

The end.

Perhaps I should thank my mother for allowing boys to be alluring for at least a little while.

7 thoughts on “Things I would have known if I had had a brother

  1. I always wanted an older brother, but I have a little one. He drives me crazy, is lazy and gross, but man, I love him! And I know I’ll be glad when I have a little boy someday that I have some experience with boy toys and Boy Scouts and the like!

  2. :-D Your most make me mile and laugh some. I have two brother and myself am the youngest of 4 so we did not do much. But so glad I had my son because he has taught me so much and makes me laugh every day even when he is telling me that he just farted lol. Boys are silly

  3. I had a brother, and knew they were gross. And yet still somehow, I willingly cohabitate with one. But sometimes, they’re worth the trouble I guess. I mean, gross boys do the gross stuff, right? Like take the trash out!

  4. Bwhahahahaha!!! I’m SO in the same boat with you there!! This was a great post and made me laugh out loud while at home with my 1 yr old. (He already thinks I’m crazy anyway) I always wanted a big brother too!

  5. LOVE IT! I’m also the youngest of 3 girls. When I found out my youngest was going to be a boy (my 2 older children are girls) I freaked out because I wasn’t sure what to do with a boy. He’s only 21 months old, but he is SO DIFFERENT from my girls. He’s a little momma’s boy and I couldn’t imagine not having my little boy!

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