Things I would have known if I had had a brother

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Growing up, I always hated being the youngest. I was very put upon and woebegone and no one understood me. My mother had been the oldest. My dad had been an only child. So I was forced to live the life of a young Mississippi girl who NO ONE UNDERSTOOD (as if anyone could have understood me otherwise).

Above anything else, I always used to want a brother. A big brother. Sometimes I would pretend Stephanie was my big brother because she was so tall, but then she’d do something stupid like be a cheerleader or wear a bra and the illusion was shattered.

I realize now that part of my fascination with the opposite sex (read: boy craziness) stemmed from not really knowing much about boys, having never been around them all that much. I mean, I was around them at church – but let’s face it, church boys are somehow not as alluring.

Therefore, I present you with things I probably would have known ahead of getting married, had I but had a brother:

Boys are gross. Farts and balls and dingleberries gross.

The end.

Perhaps I should thank my mother for allowing boys to be alluring for at least a little while.

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YARPP

7 thoughts on “Things I would have known if I had had a brother”

  2. I always wanted an older brother, but I have a little one. He drives me crazy, is lazy and gross, but man, I love him! And I know I’ll be glad when I have a little boy someday that I have some experience with boy toys and Boy Scouts and the like!

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  3. :-D Your most make me mile and laugh some. I have two brother and myself am the youngest of 4 so we did not do much. But so glad I had my son because he has taught me so much and makes me laugh every day even when he is telling me that he just farted lol. Boys are silly

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  4. I had a brother, and knew they were gross. And yet still somehow, I willingly cohabitate with one. But sometimes, they’re worth the trouble I guess. I mean, gross boys do the gross stuff, right? Like take the trash out!

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  5. Bwhahahahaha!!! I’m SO in the same boat with you there!! This was a great post and made me laugh out loud while at home with my 1 yr old. (He already thinks I’m crazy anyway) I always wanted a big brother too!

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  6. LOVE IT! I’m also the youngest of 3 girls. When I found out my youngest was going to be a boy (my 2 older children are girls) I freaked out because I wasn’t sure what to do with a boy. He’s only 21 months old, but he is SO DIFFERENT from my girls. He’s a little momma’s boy and I couldn’t imagine not having my little boy!

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