This past Sunday, we the Steens decided to go on a small road trip. We needed to go to Five Guys, Target, etc.
So we went, after convincing my Mom to loan us her car (we take her car on trips like that because it gets good gas mileage and is always clean).
In my mom’s car, I found a copy of a recent bulletin from her church. While I was somewhat afraid that my blaspheming fingers might cause it to burst into flame, I looked over it.
Josh noticed the blurb pictured below, and he observed that the Brittany Settle mentioned would have been in school with our friend Marty.
So I did some research. Because I’m a trouble stirrer.
In 1991, Brittany Settle was indeed given an assignment for a term paper. The teacher was clear in her terms: pick whatever you want to write about, get it approved, and then write about it.
So Brittany chose her topic. She chose the topic of “drama,” which I can only assume meant things like traveling troupes and Globe Theatre and the like.
Then, for whatever reason, she changed her mind. She decided to write about Jesus instead. I can only imagine the reasoning. Maybe she thought it would be easier, maybe she knew she had a good paper in her brain, bred from years of Bible verses and Sunday School.
She decided to change topics and she wrote what I’m sure was an excellent paper.
However, she never got the change approved. She didn’t give her teacher any heads up at all, and so when she turned in what was supposed to be a paper about actors and dramatics and it was instead about Jesus, she failed.
It’s a lesson I learned in about the fifth grade – you don’t follow directions, you fail your shit.
The fact that the situation then escalated to court dates and appearances on church bulletins two decades later is just a little ridiculous.
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