This is why I think church kind of sucks

This past Sunday, we the Steens decided to go on a small road trip. We needed to go to Five Guys, Target, etc.

 

So we went, after convincing my Mom to loan us her car (we take her car on trips like that because it gets good gas mileage and is always clean).

 

In my mom’s car, I found a copy of a recent bulletin from her church. While I was somewhat afraid that my blaspheming fingers might cause it to burst into flame, I looked over it. 

 

Josh noticed the blurb pictured below, and he observed that the Brittany Settle mentioned would have been in school with our friend Marty.

 

So I did some research. Because I’m a trouble stirrer.

 

In 1991, Brittany Settle was indeed given an assignment for a term paper. The teacher was clear in her terms: pick whatever you want to write about, get it approved, and then write about it.

 

So Brittany chose her topic. She chose the topic of “drama,” which I can only assume meant things like traveling troupes and Globe Theatre and the like.

 

Then, for whatever reason, she changed her mind. She decided to write about Jesus instead. I can only imagine the reasoning. Maybe she thought it would be easier, maybe she knew she had a good paper in her brain, bred from years of Bible verses and Sunday School.

 

She decided to change topics and she wrote what I’m sure was an excellent paper. 

 

However, she never got the change approved. She didn’t give her teacher any heads up at all, and so when she turned in what was supposed to be a paper about actors and dramatics and it was instead about Jesus, she failed.

 

It’s a lesson I learned in about the fifth grade – you don’t follow directions, you fail your shit.

 

The fact that the situation then escalated to court dates and appearances on church bulletins two decades later is just a little ridiculous.

9 thoughts on “This is why I think church kind of sucks

  1. I’ve never heard anything about Brittany Settle, so it must’ve not been as huge a deal as the pastor there makes it out to be. This is the kind of thing that makes my job hard, and I’m disappointed by it.

  2. When a generation comes along that loves some Jesus, they will not have to write underhanded term papers about Him. Pastors will not use the same underhanded method of pushing Christ into the system. Anyone who reads history sees the deadly effects of mingling religion and government. Forget history, just watch the news. Religious fanatics speak favorably about the founders of our nation, but they undermine them by pushing for a religiously biased government. If this were a “Christian” nation, no one would have to worry about a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Make disciples and the system will be changed naturally. Force Jesus, and there will be bloodshed.

  3. You know how you sit through Sunday School hoping the teacher will ask you a question, because you just know the answer is going to be Jesus and the teacher is going to gush all over your brilliant self? (Or was that just what Sunday School was like for me?)

    This reminds me of that. Brittany thinks to herself, “This drama paper sucks and won’t get me an A.” Then she gets an idea, “I know! I’ll write about Jesus. Failing a paper about Jesus would be like failing Jesus himself!”

  4. I respectfully accept the position. Thank you for your vote. Now, what can we do to get the religious people riled up enough to martyr a few people? Most of the people who wrote the Bible died of unnatural causes. Be careful with your words. Nothing can kill you faster than the truth spoken in front of a mainstream religious audience.

  5. “…afraid that my blaspheming fingers might cause it to burst into flame…” – hahaha, you’re cracking me up! anyways, I agree, it does suck bringing up this 2 decades later.

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