Do you watch “Parenthood?”
You should, you know. It’s brilliant.
And basically if I looked like this I feel like my family would always be happy, all branches of it.
But I don’t, and it’s not.
I’m a big believer in family is family. It’s why we have a weird living arrangement and it’s why we all have to make our own peace with who we are as a unit.
I’ve come to realize lately (although I’ve known it for a long time, truth be told) that everyone doesn’t view family like I do.
Instead of a unit, a team of being in it together, there are instead rivals and sides. Secrets and scorecards, whispers and turned backs.
This is new to me. I mean, sure, my family growing up had its own issues. We all got/get on each other’s nerves. And if Josh annoys Stephanie or Stephanie annoys me or Dad is on edge or Mom is…I don’t know…too clean? We deal with it. We move on. Because we’re a family and that’s what we do.
We borrow my mom’s car a lot. It annoys her sometimes but if she wants to say no, she does. No feelings are hurt and nothing is dramatic. And she would never think to bring it up again, like, “you borrowed my car, see how nice I am to you?”
I cannot fathom having an us/them sense about my own family.
But being pushed into it in any capacity is not okay.
I know I’m not perfect. I know I’ve made mistakes and my judgement has been off. But I’ve moved on. I surround myself with people who love me and bring me up. If I stay away from them too long, they don’t stand for it. The road and the phones work both ways, and we use them.
I don’t know how else to live my life. I don’t play teams because it’s a waste of time.
I love my family. Every angle, twist, and branch of it. There’s no room for bad blood or competition.