This won’t be earning me any friends

Generally I refrain from posting things I know will upset or irk people.

I suppose that’s not really true.

But given the general temperament of my Facebook feed, this may raise hackles.


Last week, we were fully immersed in getting ready for the return to school. Backpacks detrashed, lunchboxes found. Ava’s obnoxious feathers placed.

Late one afternoon, I received a call from the number I have saved in my phone as “AUTOMATED SCHOOL DEMON” – the number that calls when roads are flooded, a kid has disappeared, or cattle are loose. I turned on the speaker (but didn’t speak – I’ve caught myself talking to that machine too many times and now I’m wise to the game), expecting a reminder about not bringing guns or knives, or maybe a last minute nevermind-school-is-postponed-forever message.

Instead I got a recorded message inviting me not to forget about the upcoming “prayer walk” for parents of kids in the schools.

Now let me make one thing very, very clear.

If you are a kid in school and you want to say a prayer before you eat your lunch or take a test or walk on linoleum, I support that.

If you are a teacher and you want to send up a silent plea for mercy before you try and explain the branches of government, I support that.

If you want to bring your prayer rug and face Mecca between classes, I say go for it.

If you want to organize an event where people who are so inclined walk the halls and sidewalks of the school and pray for the students who will soon be present, I’m all for it! Bathe the desks and walls in prayer, and maybe that way my kids won’t eat boogers or mouth off (I may find religion if that works).

I will defend your right to do these things until my very last breath.

What I do not support is the use of school equipment, funds, and information to promote a religious function.

I never said, “Hey, sure, keep me posted about your rituals and gatherings.”
I didn’t say that because chances are I’m not coming.

It’s not because I don’t believe in God or I hate all religion or I think everyone should know that they know that they know whether they’re going to The Hell or not.

It’s because my son has already teared up more than once because he’s afraid his parents are going to hell.

Church is for religion.
Church schools are for the people who want everything to line up with what they believe.

School is not church. Amen.

I would rethink my stance if, say, I knew everyone’s beliefs would be equally welcomed. If the Muslims wanted to have a Q&A. If the Jews wanted to explain all the candles. If Pentecostals wanted to demonstrate hairspray usage. If the Mormons wanted to model Jesus underwear.

But that’s not happening. At least not here, because the vast majority of people believe the same way.

And that’s fine. What you believe is your business.

It’s when it starts being shoved at me and make it my business that I start caring.

I realize it’s election time and the superintendent was making sure everyone got catered to so as to put a good face on his campaign.

But just because the majority of people won’t care about the prayer walk phone call, or may even celebrate it, doesn’t make it okay. I’m not even sure it’s legal.

So please, pray. Fast. Sing. Speak in tongues.

Just don’t make me listen. Or watch. Or use the money I pay in taxes to promote it.

And in return, I will refrain from being an ass. Kind of.

Or not.

8 thoughts on “This won’t be earning me any friends

  1. I am a devout Christian. I go to church on Sunday. I even send my kids to church on WEDNESDAY with my inlaws (and I thank JESUS for the break LOL) But I also spent the early part of my life as agnostic, and my late teens and early twenties as a pagan. That said, if I got that phone call I’d be pissed off too. I’d remember how it felt to be a kid with an “weird religion” (non-Baptist, here in Texas) and be an outsider.

    That’s just not cool. If people wanna go pray at shit, that’s their right – I pray at stuff all the time. But to demand that you do it, too – and to use tax payer dollars for it – is crap.

  2. I agree with you on most points, certainly about public schools not using their funds for religious events.

    What I do disagree with is this line “Church schools are for the people who want everything to line up with what they believe.” My son goes to a Catholic school and it doesn’t line up with everything I believe. On the flip side, he is also exposed to many other different religions through our friends and family, so it isn’t like I’m sheltering him from other thoughts or religions. (In fact we usually celebrate Hannukah with another family every year). I chose the school based more on the smaller class size and the sense of community it fosters (our home school has 8 classes per grade. EIGHT.). Contrary to what a lot of people think, they most definitely teach evolution, dinosaurs roaming the earth prior to humans, etc. They have already taught him those concepts.

    Anyway, these are such common misconceptions I felt the need to clear that up. Having said that, if my son attended the local public school and we got such a message? I’d be livid.

    • Definitely I see your point about class sizes and such. And I see why you’d choose that kind of environment.

      I forget people who don’t live here have choices of schools. :)

  3. Lol….there is more to us than just hairspray usage. I can totally show you at least twenty different uses for hairpins. ;o) Enjoyed the post. Thank you for sharing!

  4. Don’t even get me started on misappropriated bullshit like that call. I have a zero-tolerance policy for stuff like that. If I had kids and had gotten that call, I would be raising all sorts of hell.

    Public school. Tax dollars. Separation of church and state, what?

  5. Muslims also pray. Jews pray too! Pentecostals pray. Mormons pray. Those groups even pray to the same God! People pray to the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER. People even pray to THE UNIVERSE if you can imagine something so silly.

    So which beliefs aren’t being equally welcomed?

    I would personally be more concerned with my son being scared and crying b/c he thinks his parents are going to hell rather than if the school is making a free local call on a phone line that is already paid for to invite Parents to a prayer walk.

    • I am aware that different faiths pray. I even know a person in each of the belief sections you mentioned, including pastafarian and universalist, which wouldn’t be welcome at ShinDig Elementary, where my kids go.

      I wonder how much of a ruckus would be had if, say, Facebook were to use every user’s contact information to promote a religious happening. Without permission.

      I’m betting it would be brutal.

      And sure, Max being worried for our souls is bothersome. I do everything I can to reassure him. But in focusing on that one statement, you’ve kind of totally missed the point of my post.

      Thanks for your comment.

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