This is a better option than homicide.

I’m pissed.

Seriously, so angry.

I know little girls are oversensitive.
Dramatic.
Flighty.

But you know what? I don’t care.

Ava is seven, which I realize is very young. Shallow and fanciful and still clinging to the idea of Cinderella in crystal slippers and a cinched waist ball gown with a willowy neck.

I remember being seven. While I knew I wasn’t stick thin and lanky like so many of the girls I knew, I still saw good when I looked at myself.

I also remember when my uncle mentioned I was getting fat. He told me I was too pretty for that and I needed to be a lady.

Ava came home yesterday like she always does. She was dressed in what happened to be the first Ava outfit of the school year – I’ve mentioned before how she puts together her outfits and damn them all, she looks fantastic.

She was showing me her papers, talking about homework and such. I looked up at her where she was standing beside me, and I reached up like I often do, brushing her hair back and telling her how pretty she was.

Except this time she didn’t smile, give me a kiss and saunter off. She looked at me and burst into tears.

“No, Mom, I’m not. I’m really not. I’m so ugly.”

This is so fucking unacceptable I cannot clearly put it into words.

I don’t know who said what or why my baby girl suddenly has been wrenched into this harsh and pathetic world of flimsy and fake.

But it pisses me off. How dare they? How dare anyone tarnish what was already destined to be a precious few short years where she could be comfortable and confident?

I’ve tried everything I know of to hammer into her head that she’s perfect. Lovely. Absolutely breathtaking. And of course I knew that eventually things would come to this.

But not now. Not yet. She’s just a baby, and look at her, would you? Look at her.

How – why – what the hell? Really? Is it too much to ask that she be allowed a few more years before being submitted to the absolute terror that is the world?

Ava, you are beautiful. Your eyes, your face. The way you smile and make me smile and the way I’m so proud you’re mine.

Everything about you.

I love you so much.

Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you are anything less than amazing.

If they do, I’ll kick their asses. All of them.

Love,

Mom

6 thoughts on “This is a better option than homicide.

  1. I love that baby girl of yours, you know, and I think she is breathtaking too. Not just on the outside (she is visually gorgeous too, of course) but her sweet, sassy, adorable Ava-spirit just fills up a room. It makes my heart break to think that life has already worn that down a little bit.

    When you get done taking names and kicking ass, I’ll follow up for good measure.

  2. Tell her that her Aunt Amanda said she is gorgeous!!! Those blue eyes will melt many hearts. She has perfect skin. She has style and flair. And, to top off that beautiful face, she has so much intelligence and creativity. I love you sweet girl.

  3. Emily, if yall can ever find the time to make it to Columbus, I will do pictures of your family – for free – but I want to concentrate a bit more on Ava and do some pictures just for her – she is gorgeous, and I would love to have her come model for me some time… then when she starts to feel ugly, she can pull out the pictures and remind herself of how beautiful she is…

    Now is such a pivotal time in a young girl’s life… anything I can do to make sure one more girl in the world has some self confidence, I will do it.

  4. if nothing else, you can tell her that a professional photographer saw some pictures of her and wanted to know if she would like to model… maybe that would cheer her up?

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