In 1998, I graduated from high school. I went on to the local community college, because that’s just what most of my friends did.
In 2000, when I should have been finished with community college, I had changed my major six point five jillion times and I was considerably behind. Then I got married.
That ended that.
In 2002, I went back to that same school and tried to pick up where I’d left off. I had an infant at home and we had next to no money, so when the semester was over and I got a job opportunity, I took it. Thus ended my education.
A couple of months ago, after talking about it for years, Josh and I decided to try school again. It has been a mess of red tape and confusion, but we got everything in order. Scheduled. Ready and waiting.
Well, today is the day.
All our classes come live online today, and me, who has never taken a single online class, I have 16 hours of classes. While I realize that I’m not expected to suddenly have everything finished and done and I’m going to have to learn to schedule myself, it doesn’t change the fact that having a list of things to do and turn in and know is going to overwhelm me more than a little bit.
I really didn’t think I was going to be so scared. But I am.
I’ve had those dreams where I forgot about a class and never did any of the work.
Where I showed up for an exam and it was a class I was never supposed to have taken.
The good news is that if I make it through this semester I’ll (finally) have my Associate’s Degree, and it will only have taken me thirteen years.
I feel a little (or a lot) silly that this is so important to me. After all, what is an Associate’s anyway? Not much.
Except it’s more than I have.
And it’s that much closer to the PhD I ultimately want.
Yeah, I said it. That’s what I’m going for. Farfetched, right? I’ll be like eighty by the time I’m finished.
But that’s okay with me. I’ll be eighty when I’m eighty whether I have a PhD or not.
So if I die today, it’s because the online classes done kilt me.