Even from afar

Yesterday’s post got me plenty of feedback. Facebook messages, emails. It was comforting.

But what’s wrong with you people that you can’t leave comments? I probably need to give something away or something.

The best thing about yesterday was a phone call I received.

I generally make a practice of not answering my phone. I’m a screener. Most of the time I see who’s calling and even if it’s someone I like, I don’t answer.

This is yet another one of the weirds I harbor. I hate the phone. I hate to talk on it and I hate the immediacy of it. I have no idea why. For things like work I don’t have a problem with it. I can talk all day long about whatever I am officially supposed to know about.

It’s just something about personal chat. My lack of social skills plays heavily into this. I’m terrible at small talk, so much so I will tell gut wrenching details about my life to a complete stranger in an effort to fill an awkward silence (says the girl with the blog written to everyone and no one). You see me at a party and unless I know you well, you are in very real danger of hearing about baby poop/weight loss/bounced checks/alien intelligence.

So yesterday, my phone rang with a huge long number that I knew was international, and instead of muting it (sorry Amanda but that is totally my way), I answered.

And I’m so glad I did.

Amanda is one of those friends I never see (because she up and moved across a damned ocean), but who will always hold a special place in my soul.

I never talk to her really, because she lives in England and while in theory I should be an excellent keeper-in-toucher by email/messages/whatnot, I am not. Our communication mainly consists of her beautiful Christmas cards and Facebook comments.

Yesterday we exchanged a couple of Facebook messages, and then the phone call.

And the reason I love Amanda is because she can say things like “Did you say all that to make me feel better? Because it totally didn’t,” and it won’t hurt my feelings at all.

Talking to her is like aloe on a sunburn and it’s my own stupid ass fault I don’t do it more.

There wasn’t a lull in the entire 30 minute conversation, and when I hung up I felt simultaneously closer and farther away. Lonely and not. Does that sound weird? It should because it is, but there’s no other way to describe it.

I should be more careful with my friends. Especially those who are so precious. There are so few of them. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.

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