Tomorrow is Josh’s birthday.
Sometimes I’m great with special days like that. Like the year we had everyone over to the apartment and drank girl beer and talked into the wee hours. Or even the year I conned him into a surprise dinner out (at Ruby Tuesday, cause we’re classy round here, folks).
But this year I’m at a loss.
We’re pretty strapped for finances right now (turns out disposable diapers CAN’T be reused, who knew?) so spoiler alert: I haven’t been able to buy a gift at all.
A couple of times I’ve made him a gift.
But now I realize that homemade gifts are something that are usually not loved, they’re tolerated like bad smells in WalMart. And I love him too much for that, so I guess he’s not getting a crocheted market bag. You’re welcome, asshole. I mean what, you’re too much of a man for a pretty bag?
I thought about lots of things I could do. Back rubs. Video game time alone. Things I can’t tell you about (sorry mom!).
And maybe I’ll do all that.
But yesterday we found out that due to a few glitches in our qualifications, we may not be getting the federal money we’d expected to allow us to go to school. I cried for a while. He was agitated. We filed our appeals and now we wait.
We wait. All weekend and into next week.
It’s going to suck.
And it’ll suck even more if it doesn’t work out and we don’t get to go, especially since we’d both gotten incredibly excited about going back to school.
So I’ve decided to say this for all the globe to see: Joshua Steen, if I have to dig ditches and scrub toilets for the rest of my life to pay for it, you’re going to finish school.
We’ve settled for a lot of things over the past years.
We’ve admitted defeat.
We’ve fallen short.
We’ve gone further than we thought we could.
And only with you can I have the ultimate faith that this will all turn out better than we’ve ever dreamed, so you deserve to know that I will not let you give up, and I will never give up on you.
I love you. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and just know that one day you’ll get spectacular presents.
Also, you’re getting old.