A random thing I need to talk about

This is going to sound weird.



I’ve told maybe three people about this since it (supposedly) happened.

That’s the thing, though. I’m not sure it happened or if it was a dream. I know that sounds stupid, but hear me out.

If you are a person who lives in the world, chances are you’ve spent the night at a friend’s house. Right? We all have.

Well, you know how you spend the night with a friend and you stay up late talking and plotting and watching TV or whatever?

OK, so that was the situation. I was over at a friend’s and we’d stayed up pretty late. It was in my teens, so we’d been out drinking wine coolers and smoking Marlboro Lights and listening to Dave Matthews. Doing what we did.

We got home and settled in to finally go to sleep, and we just laid (lay?) there for a while, talking about whatever. Who was cute, who was an ass, what fat chick so-and-so’s ex was dating. We talked so long that I got to that sleepy inbetween where you’re asleep until you know it’s your turn to talk and then you wake up enough to respond.

And there, in that twilight sleep, I’m pretty sure my friend told me that she’d had sex with her dad.

Just let that sink in for a minute.

It could have been a dream, but I remember it like it was five minutes ago. I remember thinking that I needed to respond carefully because it was a big deal that she’d confided in me like that. I don’t, however, remember what I said in response.

I do know we never talked about it again. I woke up the next morning just as unsure as I am right now if it ever actually happened.

It’s not exactly something that you just come out and say, you know? “Oh, dude, was I dreaming or did you tell me you did your dad?”

It’s not exactly a conversation that would flow.

I mean sure, her dad was a creep and I could totally see it being true, but maybe that’s a good explanation as to why my Bartles & James clouded mind created a dream with such a terrible circumstance.

If it were true, if I didn’t dream it, then shit on toast have I been an awful friend.

I hope she found someone to confide in, but I’m guessing not.

Obviously nothing can be done about it now, but I think about it every time I see her updates on Facebook. It’s pretty maddening.

Maddening enough that I’m probably going to think about it all day now. Damn.


2 thoughts on “A random thing I need to talk about

  1. Not quite as tormenting (or maybe it is, because this has been driving me crazy forever), but I have been searching for a building for as long as I can remember. I vividly remember this specific structure from my childhood, and I’ve described it to several people who know me and would have had similar traveling paths, and no one seems to know it. I can’t seem to convince myself that the place was a dream, so I still look for it any time I’m on the road.

    • So then you know.

      I have had millions of dreams over the course of my life and I can’t decide why this one is so mysterious and annoying.

      I suppose it’s because it’s so taboo and I can’t ask if it really happened or not.

      Why do our brains do this?

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