And friends are friends forever, if the Lord’s the lord of them

Dude, do you guys remember that song?

They used to play it at youth retreat in Florida on the last night. They’d get us all Bibled up and emotional and by the time Friday night rolled around and Brother Hooha on the keyboards started twingling on about a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends….well we were all choked up and sobbing and Baptist friend hugging like we were never going to see each other again instead of being hours away from being smushed together on a charter bus to go home for seventy five hours.

Holy run on sentence, Batman.

And no, I’m not going to fix it. I just want you to be aware that I am aware.

So guess what else? That has absolutely nothing to do with the purpose of today’s post.

My post today is very important.

It’s about my sister.

Did you know I have a sister? I totally do. She’s pretty much my total opposite, except we both have brown hair. She’s tall and willowy and bendy. I read a blog post yesterday about this lady whose friend could take some bricks, twine, and peat moss and make a Martha Stewart centerpiece and how that’s mad talent.

Yeah, my sister can do that and I cannot.

So I’ve had this same sister all my life.

We have hated each other. She’s probably the person I’ve rolled my eyes at the most.
We have loved each other.

That’s us, aren’t we sweet?

We have plotted together and sabotaged each other. Just the other night I was thinking about how we were washing dishes together one night (a total Waltons kind of thing that we really never did much – I have no clue why we were doing it) and Dad came in and yelled at me because I wiped off a plate and put it away without rinsing the soap off. She said something about how I must’ve just gotten behind and missed that one…I don’t remember what she said, but whatever it was, it satisfied the Father Figure and he went on about his business.

Except, you guys, I had not rinsed a single dish. The cabinet was full of dishes that I had already put away, and NARY A ONE had been rinsed.

She knew it, too. She covered that shit up like a pro. We ate off soapy plates for at least a couple of days.

That’s what sisters are for, folks.

So my sister has been playing the single lady field for a bit. Living the life.

And now, she has been corralled and penned like the stallion she is.

Church bells, people! Can we talk them into a wedding? I need an excuse to wear makeup.

I TRIED to convince her to let me officiate, because I got ordained online for such a time as this. She’s not going for it, though. Bitch.

Just kidding!

Stephanie, I love you. I hope you are happy. Because that’s what you deserve.
Justin….well, welcome to the fray.

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