Now I’m back from outer space

It’s sad that I haven’t written here in so long. Since Easter.

Does anyone still read me? Am I tucked away on some reader just to pop up randomly today?

Anyway, a lot has happened since Easter. Not only do we have a new family member, one who deserves her own blog post because of how completely she changed our lives, but we have a new outlook and lease on life.

And by we, I mean me.

Moving home from Jackson brought with it lots of emotions, lots of questions. There was the initial feeling of failure, the hurt, the betrayal of a plan and hope gone wrong.

There were questions about our future, our plans. Beliefs.

I have overcome many things in the past months. I went from complete physical and emotional exhaustion and being unsure about absolutely everything in my life to a new beginning.

I still don’t know that I’m sure about some of the things.

I don’t know why we even went to Jackson. I did believe that there was an ultimate plan, a benefit for the greater good. I don’t believe that anymore. If there is a plan for us I don’t think that any of the people who were instrumental in getting us to Jackson would be in the least involved.

I learned so much while we were gone. About reality and human nature, about how seldom the people who claim to be of God are actually even good people.

If there is a God, I don’t believe he wears a collar.

And that’s what I learned in Central Mississippi.

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