So, let’s be honest. Now.

I’m a crappy blogger.

Which leads to being a crappy writer.

This hasn’t always been the case. I used to blog daily, about everything I said and did and thought and wanted and wished. While it was therapeutic, I’m sure it got tedious to read.

Now, not so much. The tedium is in my lack of anything to say.

Or rather, maybe I have things to say but I don’t have the gumption to say them. Or the avenue. Or, let’s face it – maybe I am lacking the metaphorical balls I once possessed. I used to be completely unafraid of what people thought of anything that I said.

Now? Now I have a husband who works in a church. What if I said “balls” one too many times (I mean, that’s twice in just this post) and offended someone?

Now I have a job that I pretty much can’t talk about at all. Legally. Hospitals and patients and stuff – and even if I could, I wouldn’t have much interesting to say. So a great deal of my creativity might go into covering up the fact that there’s an 8-hour black hole in my day.

Now I’m almost 16 weeks pregnant and most things and people annoy me. I’m fairly sure that reading a list of my annoyances would not appeal to most people.

Now I have a lot of questions about my life, and to be honest, I don’t feel that I should. I feel foolish in that I will soon be a mother of three, and there are days that I don’t know who I really am.

I signed up for NaBloPoMo, since I don’t have a computer at home and can’t do the novel version. So, hello again.

2 thoughts on “So, let’s be honest. Now.

  1. I’m too tired for the simple niceties tonight so here’s my bullet point list of random thoughts:
    1. You write wonderfully. In fact, I wish I had half your blogging gumption & skill. This could easily just be an off moment for you or you could be 16 weeks pregnant and a bit overcritical of yourself (It’s been known to happen).

    2. Working, pregnant & blogging – If you had added that you keep your house immaculate then I honestly would have hurled all over my computer. That kind of time management skill is something I look at and my mouth drops to the floor as I’m so in awe. I am always (and I literally mean always) running late for something.

    3. What makes you think you should know yourself better? Each of my kiddos has changed how I look at myself and I can say that after delivering 5 and losing another 4 to miscarriage the person I am now is significantly different than the one that I was when baby number 1 was en route. I think it’s just best to own up to the we’re all works in progress and just try to figure out what your about right now.

    4. Keep blogging because you write for the same reasons all writers write – they need too. It’s a part of them. Kind of like the sun rising and setting – some things just need to happen. You need to write. Plus, I like to read your blog and it just wouldn’t be nice to deprive a working mom of five that simple joy – now would it.

    Consider this a lull time and stop worrying about your blog being the most popular on the block. It will happen in time.

  2. Katie, I love you. I have no idea why this post popped up again today, but I’m definitely not pregnant.

    All the rest of the stuff you said, though? Totally applicable.

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